I'm free of self-doubts. I have a course and I'm working my way through it. I have accomplished a goal! (I usually quit before I finish, so this is big!) And most of all I received an amazing gift at the temple on August 13th.
I've always been filled with self-doubt. I didn't think I was worth anything and didn't think what I did was ever good enough. I always second guessed myself in everything I did and thought and picked myself apart. But since the 13th I've been overflowing with a sense of calm and peace. I've had confidence and I haven't had self-doubts. I know what I need to do and I'll do my best and the Lord will help me fill in the pieces. (Like a flat that I can afford. LOL)
I got rid of my "stuff." How much stuff do we have that we really need? Not a lot, I sold it and I don't miss it. I was letting stuff tie me down.
I'm not defined by what I own.
My importance isn't defined by how much "stuff" or, the oh-so-loving term I use, "crap" that I own.
I'm free of how I think others perceive me. A.k.a I currently don't care what people think.
I used to say this, but really it was a lie. I did care. Lately at work I've been told I've been a bit "feisty" and it's been surprising people. (And I'm going to tell you a secret.... I like being told this!) I think I've even been a bit quick witted, I'm not usually like that!
I joke with my friends & family that I have an inner goth (well actually she's more of an inner punk. Her name is Sachiko). Anyways, if I truly didn't care how people perceived me or thought of me my inner punk/goth would have be on the outside a long time ago. I think this freedom may have something to do with me dying my hair purple. (the appointment is set for 9/28)
Yes, you read that correctly - purple. PURPLE. Exciting, huh?
I have no idea why purple. Purple isn't one of my favorite colors but I've always wanted purple hair. I blame Psylocke. (from The X-Men)
Photo found here
I'm off on an adventure for balance, self discovery, and fun, right? So now's the time to have purple hair!
Some people may say "Purple hair isn't for someone your age" or "You need to dress your age" but my response to those people is, screw you. Remember I don't care what you think :-)
You know, I finally feel like I'm me. The real me. Not the me that I've created for people to see.
This probably makes no sense to you, but trust me - I'm free and it's so liberating! Have an amazing weekend! I'll be at the pirate festival in Portland so you know I'll be having a great time.
6 comments:
Feeling comfortable in your own skin is an amazing feeling. Knowing you dance to the beat of your own drum instead of what others think your drum should sound is indeed liberating.
I love down sizing and at one time I could fit everything I owned into my car. LOVED that. I can't tell you how many times I popped everything in my car and drove off to live in a new location. Stuff doesn't define you. YOU define You.
You'll fit in perfectly with your purple hair here. It is totally IN. The Brits love the gothy/punk style and this will be a great time for you to find a new version of yourself.
We can't wait for you to get here!!!! You'll stay with us for as long as you need. We will help you find a fabulous flat or room to rent so don't worry about how long that will take. You'll stay with us. :)
Love it! What a great post. I am so happy to hear that you have come to peace with what your friends see as a fun, smart, adventurous, outgoing, Very Cool Chick! Good luck. I will anxiously be waiting to hear about your new life "abroad".
I love you and you're awesome. And I can't wait for your purple hair. I think it's going to look amazing on you.
Way to go Stephanie!! I was much older than you when it hit me that you need to please yourself, not others. If you try to please others you get blurry. Everyone expects different things from you and there is no pleasing everyone. I'm very proud of you and what you are doing with your life......way to go Stephanie!!!!! I love you!!!
Great post!! I ditto what everyone else has said since I'm a little late in the "comment game" ~ but know that I think you're a pretty awesome chica and I'm going to miss you! I'm super excited for you though, to start your new adventure!
Go Stephanie! I can't wait to see a picture of you with purple hair, I think it's wonderful! I'm so happy for you and your new adventures!
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